I want to dedicate today's post to Tracy and Anne, Judy and Jon, Kal, Dave, Jonathan, Lisa, and everyone else who played such a greater role than I (to my shame) in fighting the good fight in the Prop 8 wars. Because, abstract as this may sound, I write with a spirit of hope.
In The Ego and the Id (1923), Sigmund Freud describes how the Oedipus complex was responsible for the formation of the superego, the partly-conscious, partly-unconscious mediator between the ego and the id. The ego is our outside self, the side of intellect, perception, reason, and conscious thought. The id is our inside self, the side of emotion, desire, unconscious thought…every single possible idea known to humankind. Without some sort of control, the id would consume us, for in trying to reach our id-fueled goal of total pleasure we would experience pain, either the pain of self (gluttony, alcoholism, other problems) or pain felt by pursuing our pleasurable ends at the expense of others (knowing we cause hatred or heartbreak, which will be psychically felt). But a life of pure intellect leads to complete repression, just as destructive.
The superego, according to Freud, comes into being when we resolve the Oedipus complex, where our most basic human need, love, causes us to desire our opposite-sex parent and feel antagonistic to, even unconsciously murderous of, the same-sex parent we identify with. The complex ends when we choose the path of further identification, an intellectual-emotional-psychic union, with the same-sex parent. However, what keeps this from being a choice of pure perceptive intellect is that not only are we allowed to still feel affection for the opposite-sex parent (since the same-sex parent we are linked to feels that same affection) but also the sense of our separateness from the same-sex parent is kept partially intact by our recognition that we can be unalike from them, indeed, that we must, for they have prerogatives we don't have (particular responsibilities as a parent and romances, to name just two). Therefore, the two emotional desires of the Oedipal period are still there, just transformed.
The job of the superego is to take our infinite capacity for thought, emotion, and desire and channel it into a reasonable form (an object, as Freud would say) which is acceptable in both our self-perception and the perceptions of others. The ego is capable of perceiving, including perceiving that others perceive the world as we do and thus perceive us, while the id is not. The id is stronger than the ego by possessing a wider range of thoughts. The only way the ego can maintain, at the least, equilibrium with the id is to create new venues for the same emotions which are intellectually sound. The superego, that unconscious part which sometimes manifests as the guilt-stricken prick of conscience, takes our desires and uses intelligence to make alternatives which to quote Freud tell the id "Look, you can love me, the ego, too. I am just like the original object."
Freud further states that the basis for both religion and social structures came from the superego. In the construction of alternatives to loving the mother or father too much, the superego hit upon the notion of an all-powerful being beyond our parents which we could aspire to be like. This being's goodness and overarching rules led to the concept of morality and restraint. However, we then hit upon the scenario where masses of people believed this, and the individual id sees these masses as rivals for the favor and affection of the all-powerful being…they're his children too, after all. Thus the superego goes to work again in the same way it resolved the Oedipus complex…it overcomes our jealousy and hatred by again spurring an empathetic identification with the other individual, and by learning to fit in with others, a true society is formed.
Except for the idea of God as a pure mental creation, I can relate to this line of thinking. But here is my discovery when this train of thought of thought is followed a little further. Apparently, the reason for homosexuality is that in the superego's transformation of the object, the aggression towards someone exactly like yourself is replaced an identification which, in turn, so fully replicates the original desire for the significant powerful figure that identification becomes…affection.
By the Oedipus complex, we feel the most hostility towards people of the same sex as us. Therefore, an even stronger superego is required to create identification, and only an immensely strong identification can become affection. When I take this conclusion and combine it with the fact that the superego is primarily an instrument of empathy, of funneling the personal into the extrapersonal by factoring in the perceptions of others and allowing for us to care about and understand others' points of view to thus keep our affections in a socially acceptable way…then the more identification that is needed means a HIGHER BURST OF EMPATHY must be built into the superego and thus the entire personality.
Or, in other words, it is reasonable to argue that gays and lesbians have more of a capacity to emotionally relate to others than heterosexuals do.
And that is why, in the end, the forces of love and inclusion will win the day over the forces of hatred and division. All the negative energy and anger in the world cannot overcome a people who have so much more and greater love on their side. I have to believe that those who welcome, who take the time to understand, who have just that more of an ability to care, will not let the opposition triumph.
Whenever the end comes, it will be one of triumph for the superego. Just as we would surmise. It may be our salvation as a species.
(And I know the opening illustration is a cliché by now, but it is so pure.)
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